The Damsels of Distress
by StarChildHermione86
Summary: Everyone knows that the Marauders were the greatest pranksters of all time, or were they? What if a group of girls, led by a certain red headed flower challenged the maruaders? Who would win? All's fair in love and prank war!!!!!!!!!! **Chapter 11 is up
1. The Wonderful Spy

  
The Damsels Of Distress  
Chapter 1- "The Wonderful Spy"  
  
"All right, I now call this meeting of the Damsels of Distress to Order," called Lily Evans a very pretty seventh year with emerald green eyes, long flowing red hair, a temper to match. " And a special thank you to our wonderful spy Peter."   
As all three of the girls walked by Peter they planted a kiss on his chubby, red cheek. Peter turned a brighter shade of red, but had a wide smile on his face. "Peter has informed us that the Marauders have made a map of Hogwarts showing all hidden passageways out, including the one at the Humpback Witch that we found." This statement caused a general outbreak of anger.  
"But Lily," Iris Cooper protested, "they always take credit for our pranks." Iris was a pretty girl with shoulder length blond hair, pale blue eyes, and dimples.  
"Yeah Lily, they took credit for our prank last week, too," chimed in Channing Jolley a girl short brown hair, brown eyes, who was known as a practical joke lover, "I mean, they're not smart enough to make the Slytherins belly-dance while singing the school song, they're good, but they're not that good." Everyone in the room burst into enormous laughter, thinking about how stupid the Slytherins looked moving their belly's around, like they were trying to hula-hoop."  
"Yeah well, we got the detention for that too," muttered Peter who hated detention almost as much as he hated Potions.  
"Yes Peter, and were sorry you got detention but we all know that James and Sirius are trying to surpass 10,000 detentions by the end of the year, and all that did was help them," explained Lily. "I think that this time we have to go beyond just pulling a prank, we have to humiliate the Marauders also, and show everybody that there are more than one set of pranksters in this school, and we have to make sure they know that we are women."  
"Lily, that's a great idea, but how do we humiliate the Marauders," asked Iris. Channing, too, looked deeply interested. Peter looked plain frightened.  
"Lily, I am a Marauder. Your not going to humiliate me too, are you?" Peter stammered, looking as though he had been told to go live in the forbidden forest.  
"No Peter, we will work something out so you will not be humiliated ,and the boys will not suspect you are up to anything," explained Lily. Peter looked much relieved and agreed to help with anything he could.  
"But once again, Lily, how do we humiliate the Marauders," asked Channing.   
"I have a plan," explained Lily. The whole group gathered around and started to work out the details.  
  
All right that peeps was chapter one, so give me some feedback and tell me whether I should continue , or tell me not to quit my day job, I don't care! Just review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah just so you know I hate Peter, too!!!!!!!! He is a lowlife piece of scum who deserves to be tortured and thrown off the highest mountain, and I hope he falls on razor sharp rocks at the bottom. How could anybody do that to their friends? But like it or not he is essential to the Harry Potter books, and to Lily and James fan fic. This story will eventually be romance. Its not hate/love, they don't hate each other, in fact they respect each other for their pranks, and cleverness. Man I'm rambling!!!!!! Anywhoo, please REVIEW!!!!!!!! Thanx :)  
  



	2. The Gift

The Damsels of Distress   
Chap. 2- "The Gift"  
  
The next morning everything was set up. Lily instructed Peter to tell the boys he felt sick and go to the infirmary. Peter would stay there, until after James, Sirius, and Remus got humiliated and then say he felt better and leave.  
The next morning Lily, Iris, and Channing woke up at 3 and snuck out only to return to the common room at 5, very tired , but extremely happy.   
When James, Remus, and Sirius went down to breakfast in the morning, they didn't know why people were laughing at them, although to everyone but themselves it was obvious. Written plainly on James forehead was the words " I should be a seeker, not a chaser, I seek through my nose for golden snitches all the time." Sirius had a skull and bones on his butt, with the words "Toxic waste, keep away from fire to prevent explosion," underneath it. Remus had written across his chest, " I don't cross-dress, lots of men were bras, just ask my friends James and Sirius."  
They did know what was going on when they went down to breakfast that morning , though. When they arrived everyone was laughing at a huge portrait that was painted on the wall showing James picking his nose, some brown gas coming out of the butt area of Sirius's robes and Remus wearing a bra. Under the portrait the words were written, "Best Friends Forever." Written next to the picture was a letter to the Marauders.  
  
  
Dearest Marauders,  
We, The Damsels of Distress, are tired of you taking credit for our pranks, so after much deliberation we have decided to present this portrait of you as a gift. As we know this portrait will most likely be clean off the wall as soon as a teacher arrives, so we have taken the liberty of photographing it and making copies to be sent to every person in the Great Hall at breakfast this morning. We are honored to do this, no thanks is needed. As a final note we would like to say," Let the Prank Wars Begin."  
Love,  
The D.O.D.  
Hey thanks for reading and please, please review. I would like to thank the following reviewers:  
Dragonessa Smith - Peter belly dancing is disgusting!!!!! Thanx for the review!  
Kate- I don't want you to go insane, so I will continue(by the way I'm already insane!)  
Aria* - Don't worry I hate Peter!!!!!!!!!!!(who wouldn't want to see him fall off a cliff?)  
samizare- thanx   
Le Chat de la Lune- Thanx, I really like writing this one too! And stop threatening me with your dementor, I'll sick my Hungarian Horntail Fido on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Ennia- Thanx  
Emily- I'll write as fast as my little (cough** huge **cough) hands can type, Thanx!  
  



	3. I Don't Wear A Bra

The Damsels of Distress  
Chap. 3- "I Don't Wear a Bra"  
  
True to the words of the D.O.D. , everybody in the great hall received a picture of the portrait. Professor Mcgonagall was the first teacher to enter the Great Hall and much to everyone's surprise she burst out laughing, but removed the portrait none the less. The Marauders left the Great Hall in search of a red head and her friends, which were known to be the only girls in the school clever and artistic enough to come up with a prank like this. A few minutes after the Marauders started their search an angry shout was heard erupting from the Gryffindor common room.  
"What in the Hell did you do that for?" yelled a very angry James Potter. Lily personally thought James looked very cute when he was angry, but that was not a matter of importance at the moment.   
"My dearest James whatever do you mean?" Lily asked in innocence. Like the experienced actress she was, she showed no sign of a smile or a grin, but she was dying laughing on the inside.  
"You know exactly what he means, " yelled a furious Remus. As Remus was usually a calm, easy going guy this was a great surprise to Lily, and everyone else . "I don't wear a bra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his voice.  
"Why Remus," piped in Channing," whoever said you did?" She too would have been a good actress, if it wasn't for the small grin that was on her lips as she said it. Iris looked on guiltily, she wasn't feeling guilty because of the prank, but she did feel rather upset about doing this to Remus.  
"Sirius, what do you think of all of this?" asked Channing. Sirius was turning purple and they all thought that it was from supressed anger. Finally much to everyone's surprise Sirius burst out laughing.  
"Damsels one, Marauders zip, " managed to choke out between fits of laughter. "We will definitely have revenge on that one, but still as a fellow prankster I must give my congrats on a prank well done," and with that Sirius once again started laughing uncontrollably.  
"Siruis stop cakling like a hen," said a very angry and confused James.   
"We have to pay them back, we did nothing to deserve this."  
"Oh and I guess taking credit for our pranks and secret passages doesn't count, does it. Oh yes, we know all about your little "Marauders Map" and I suggest you don't talk about your secrets so loudly that anybody can hear you," Lily's usually charming voice was dripping with pure venom as she said this. " As for your revenge we wait Mr. Prongs, and encourage you to try your best, because we do get soooo bored of your tired old pranks. So If you will excuse us we are late for Transfiguration, and we grow tired of hearing your mindnumbing chatter, goodbye." And with that the Damsels of Distress left, leaving the shocked, confused, and angry Marauders behind them.  
  
Reviewers:  
  
  
  
Hogwarts Prank Princess- Thanx for the great review, it really cheered me up, especially after a sorta nasty review I got. Nooo not the house elves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Mistress Kenlei- Thanx  
Cuckoo- I'll keep writing(hopefully one chapter per day) Thanx  
Kate- I am insane too, and as a happy note another chapter of Snapdragon and Prongs is up(Dances happy dance), now only if Someone the First would get another chapter of the Parents Who Died out life would be perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanx for the review  
Angel of Music- Thanx alot, I'm really glad you like it  
Aurora- you got your wish ,confrontation! I had alot of fun writing Lily's comebacks, hee hee!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Caitie- Okay the pranks weren't tasteful I agree( I am not a tasteful person), I have never seen my pranks done in a fan fic before, but I will still give you that they may not be original, but come on, I think they were really funny cause I cracked up when I wrote them(maybe I just have a warped sense of humor!) Thanx for the review all the same though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Caitlin- I will find something to do Peter to make him miserable, don't worry bout that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanx for the review!  
  
And last but not least a shout out to Le Chat de la lune..... Hey where are you? Review my fic or I will sick my Hungarian Horntail on you!!!!!!!!!!!! Your dementer doesn't scare me(mommy, help me!!!!!).LOL   
Shout out to everyone: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Also if you want me to check out   
your fan fic, I will, just tell me the name of it, and your pen name and I will check it out and review it. Bye all!  
  
  
  
  



	4. Peter, Run Far Away...

The Damsels of Distress  
Chapter 4- "Peter, Run Far Away..."  
  
"What are we going to do about them," asked a furious Remus, as he plopped down on the couch beside James. James looked as though no words could express his anger. James was angry to say the least, she knew, she knew their most guarded secrets. She knew about the Marauder's Map, about them being unregistered Animagi, about their nicknames. She knew Remus was Moony, He was Prongs, Sirius was Padfoot, and Peter was Wormtail. Suddenly a thought dawned on James.  
"How come Wormtail didn't get pranked," asked James looking as though his head was about to burst into flames. "Where is Wormtail," James seemed to get madder by the second, which really confused Sirius and Remus.   
"James, what does Pete have to do with this," asked a concerned Remus, cause it seemed to him, that every second, James anger seemed more and more focused on the fellow Marauder, Wormtail.  
"Why didn't he get pranked," growled James once more. Sirius and Remus were just staring at James, like he was crazy when Wormtail walked through the portrait hole.  
Before Remus and Sirius knew what was happening, James was on top of Peter, with the intent to kill. "James what the Hell do you think your trying to do," yelled Sirius, as he and Remus pulled James off of Peter.  
"Isn't it obvious, he didn't get pranked because he has been passing information on the D.O.D." yelled a frustrated James, and he tried to loosen the grip, Remus and Sirius had on him.  
"No n-no guys, I didn't g-get pranked cause I was in the infirmatry s-sick," stuttered a very nervous Peter. Remus was just about to say that must be the reason, but a thought dawned on him.  
"The portraits had to be done last night, they would have had to know that you wouldn't be with us this morning when we went down to breakfast," snapped Remus, who almost had as much anger as James right now. Peter looked over to Sirius for help, but noticed that he was now cracking his knuckles, also looking ready to kill.  
"Guys, what p-portraits, w-what are you talking 'bout," Peter was know looking at his shoes, which seemed awfully interesting.  
" I don't like being shown in a bra," yelled James, after winking to Remus and Sirius.  
  
Peter who didn't notice the wink said, "I thought Remus was put in the bra," Peter was still looking more confused then ever, suddenly clamped his hand to his mouth, realizing what he had just done.  
  
"If poor ickle Peter's been in the hospital wing, then how did he know that Moony was wearing a bra," Sirius voice was teasing, but his eyes held a dangerous glint to them.  
"G-Guys they forced me, they t-tortured me, I'm not b-brave like y-you are," Peter stuttering was getting worse.  
"I don't think so Pete," said a very angry James,"I know they can be sneaky, but they would never lower themselves down to torturing you for info. You went to them all on your own, didn't you? You offered the information on your own free will."  
"Guys they're p-pretty, no g-girls like m-me, I just w-wanted some attention," Peter was now on his knees, pleading with them.  
"Peter, run far away before do something I get sent to Azkaban for," Sirius was now reaching for his wand, so Peter bolted for the Portrait hole, and was down the hall before you could say,"Avada Kedavra."  
"Now what do we do," asked Remus after, watching Peter take off.  
"We confront the Damsels," answered James, still looking ready to kill.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I admit it, don't sue me (the warner brothers slimeballs)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Notices: My friend Le Chat de la Lune, wrote (with my full permission and favor so don't flame her) a story called: The Damsels of Distress: A New Generation, Its really good(in fact its better than mine:)) so please read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I tried to make this chapter longer, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
And as a final note:   
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  



	5. I Say We All Kill Wormtail !

The Damsels of Distress  
Chapter 5- " I Say We All Kill Wormtail ! "  
  
Professor McGonagall was in the middle of teaching her Transfiguration class when all of a sudden her students Potter, Black, and Lupin burst into the room. "Sit boys, and explain you absence," she ordered, but they didn't seem to be paying the slightest attention to her. Instead they made their way over to where Lily, Iris, Channing were sitting.  
"You bitches," yelled a frustrated James, " I knew you were sneaky but I never thought you would stoop so low as to use a spy."  
"Excuse me, but unless you want to spend the rest of your lives as newts you better apologize for calling us bitches," Channing had her wand out as she said this and was looking murderous. The Marauders, however, paid no attention to her as they turned to Lily. Lily was the only one who noticed that Channing had lifted her wand and was about to hex the Marauders.   
"Channing, not now! Lets hear what they have to say first. Who knows, it might actually be interesting," Lily said. Channing gave the boys a death glare and put down her wand, much to the Marauders relief. "What have you done to Peter?" Lily asked, looking slightly worried.  
"Nothing as of now, we actually figured you might want to help us kill him, especially since he tried to tell us that you tortured the information out of him," James said. The look on his face still showed how mad he was at the EX- Marauder.  
"He what," shrieked Iris, Channing, and Lily at the same time. There expressions all of a sudden changed to murderous, and many people that were standing nearby watching the argument decided it was time to leave the room.  
"That little bastard! He came to us with the information, telling us that you had been ignoring him, and he had no friends! He had us feeling sorry for him," Lily had her fist clenched and her face was starting to turn as red as her hair.  
"We never left him out of anything," exclaimed Remus. "He always said something about having to do work everytime we suggested doing something fun."  
"Yeah, before this we always liked the shrimp," muttered Sirius. "He might not have been that bright or brave, but we always thought he was trustworthy."  
"I think its time for us to put aside our differences and work on a mutual crusade," exclaimed Lily looking as though it was Christmas morning. "I say that we all kill Wormtail!" Everyone else, including the Marauders, nodded their heads. They had all seemed to forgotten where they were, but that didn't last long.  
"Potter, Black, Lupin, Evans, Jolley, Cooper: Dumbledore's office now," exclaimed Minerva McGonagall, finally able to talk over their arguments.  
"Damn," they all muttered simultamiously and head out the door, to the destination of Dumbledore's office.  



	6. Your So Stupid!

Damsels of Distress  
Chapter 6- "Your so Stupid"  
  
The trip down the corridors to Dumbledore's office   
was less than enjoyable. Half way down the hall a fight   
broke out.  
"Your so stupid," spat Lily who was sick of James   
saying it was her fault. "If you weren't so crazy that  
you burst in and starting talking about personal matters  
in the middle of Transfiguration, none of this would've  
happened."  
"I'm stupid, If that's not the pot calling the kettle  
black, Miss-I-Say-In-Front-Of-The-Teacher-That-We-Are-  
Planning-On-Attacking-Another-Student," snapped James.  
"Honestly, now McGonagall is going to put Peter under   
special protection, so we can't get payback. How dumb   
you get?"  
Further argument was spared because where Lily and  
James were once standing, now stood two newts. "Now   
that's what you get," it appeared as Channing had finally  
got fed up with their bickering. "You two are both right,  
none of us were very smart, but if you two don't shut up,  
we will be facing more than one detention. If you would  
observe where we are, you would find that we are now   
outside Dumbledore's Office. I wouldn't be surprised if  
he could hear you bickering all the way up there! Now   
either you two act like the seventeen year olds you are,  
or you we turn you over to Hagrid as food for his various  
animals," and with a pop, there stood Lily and James once   
again.  
  
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Okay I own the plot, Channing and Iris(so don't steal em' they are my first ever characters that I actually own) (yes!), Sorry this chapter took so long! I tried to give myself a break and wait a while, but I ended up feeling guilty! As you know I don't own anything important! It all belongs to the wonderful J.K. and only her(I refuse to say those warner brother gits on a damn thing, so there! They are just lowlifes who have to much time on thier hands so they shut down websites and condemn imagination!)   
Anywhoo, on a more cheerful note: Review if you have the time, feel like it, want to complain about Warner Brothers, or just brighten my day! Bye:~)


	7. The Chapter Where Everybody Snaps at Eve...

The Damsels of Distress  
**Chapter 7- The Chapter Where Everybody Snaps at Everybody**  
  
"Fine, I'll shut up if Potter here will," snapped Lily, she was mad that Channing had turned her into a newt, and being transfigured isn't the most comfortable thing in the world either.  
"I'll shut up if firehead will take responsibility for getting us into this mess," snapped James, equally mad.  
"I did not get us into this mess, you did," spat Lily.  
"Did not"  
"Did too"  
"Didn't"  
"Did," Lily barely got the words out of her mouth before her and James toppled to the floor, unable to move. Sirius looked over to Channing grinning.  
"Don't look at me," answered Channing, "I didn't do anything this time."  
"Moony," Sirius asked looking over to where Remus was standing.  
"Nope, not me either," replied Remus with an amused expression as he pointed to Iris standing beside him.  
"Iris you cursed them," asked Channing who began giggling uncontrollably. Iris was the one who had sweet temperament, and rarely ever got mad or irritated, so this came as a big shock to Channing.  
"What, can't I ever get fed up," snapped Iris who was looking slightly murderous, "I'm a seventeen year old girl, not a nun! I have as much of a right as you do to curse them. If Remus hadn't told you I did it, you would have just assumed that someone else did it, and left! Well, I'm sick of everybody thinking I'm a goody-goody!"  
Sirius muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Wow, PMS alert," which caused him to be slapped in the face by both Channing and Iris.  
"Iris, we are sorry we acted like you were some perfect being who could never do bad," replied Channing. "We don't really think that, honestly! We just gawked at you that way because we were shocked that you lost your temper, I mean you are the most level headed out of all of us! We honestly didn't mean any offense by it!"  
"Yeah," muttered Sirius who was still holding his jaw in pain after the slaps he received. "We only looked at you like you were some sort of space creature, cause you know, your you. You and Remus would be the last two people in the world someone would expect to lose their temper. After all, you are the only with enough patience to tutor the stupid rat-boy."   
Iris grinned at Sirius and Channing. " Sorry guys, I didn't mean to snap at you! Really sorry for losing my temper!"  
"You don't need to apologize to us! You have every right to snap at us, or curse us whenever you want! If I had to put up with me 24-7, I would've already Avada Kedavra-ed myself," laughed Channing as she hugged Iris.  
"Well this is all fine and good, but I have a feeling if we leave Lily and James body-bound any longer, they will kill us the minute they are freed," Sirius said, as he undid the spell. The minute Lily was free from the spell she jumped up and joined Iris and Channing in their hug, while James muttered "girls."   
"Guys, correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't an hour ago that Minny sent us to Dumbledore's office, and we still haven't showed up. We could being adding more detentions every minute," pointed out Remus.  
"Did she even tell us the password to the stupid gargoyle, " asked James?  
"What you mean you don't know it Potty," asked Lily. "I thought you would since you make a daily visit here!"  
"Shut up Flame," James said, " lets see, Dumbledore usually names it after candy. Lemon drops, Fizzing Whisbee's, Bertie Botts Beans..."  
"Chocolate Frogs," said a voice behind them and they turned to see non-other than Dumbledore. "Please follow me up to my office. I just ran into Minerva and she told me she had sent you," and without a word the Marauders and the DOD followed Dumbledore into his office.  
  
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A/N: Wow, that's got to be the longest chapter I have ever written! I really felt that Iris was just in the background too much, and I also felt that by the way she was playing out if I didn't do something soon she would turn into the dreaded Mary Sue(shudders)  
Anyway, I am really proud of this chapter, and I would like to thank all those who reviewed my other chapters! This is the 1st story I have gotten 50 reviews on, so I am just soooo incredibly happy! Please tell me what you think about this chapter, and about the whole story so far! Thank you soooo much, your reviews really make me happy! Bye :~)  
  
Disclaimer: Anybody who is stupid enough to believe I own this is as dumb as Wormtail! 'Nuff said!  
  
Katie: Hey, thanx sooo much for all your hard work on our fic, having to rewrite all those parts (poor you)! If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know!  
Thanx a million for everything! Your the best! :~)  
  
And a Final note to all: Please Review!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanx :~)


	8. Heads Full of Thoughts and Rumbling Stom...

The Damsels Of Distress  
Chapter 8- Heads Full of Thoughts and Rumbling Stomachs  
  
"Minerva has informed me of your outburst during her class," Dumbledore stated after each of them had taken a seat. He found the death glares James and Lily were shooting each other highly amusing. " She also seems to think that Peter Pettigrew is in danger, in fact she insist that we put him under a protective charm." The Marauders and the Damsels groaned loudly in unison.  
"See fire head, I told you this would happen! If you learned to keep your mouth shut we would all be better off," was James curt reply.  
"Excuse me, but can I take the advantage to tell you once again that you were the ones to burst into Minny's class and started the fight," snapped Lily. "I would also like to point out that I am in an extremely bad mood, and if you don't watch it your going to be in the hospital wing for a long time!"  
"Oh sure, go ahead and try it girlie," chortled James. He knew that this probably wasn't the best thing to say, but he liked getting Lily worked up.  
Fortunately for James, as Lily was already raising wand, Dumbledore decided to interrupt.  
"Excuse me but there is the little matter of your detentions," Dumbledore had his usual twinkle in his eyes as he said this. "You will all be reporting to Hagrid at eight tonight to help him find look for hippogriff eggs."  
"Professor wouldn't be easier to find hippogriff eggs in the daylight," asked Iris.  
"Hippogriffs leave their nest unprotected when they hunt, and they hunt at night time. It would be extremely hard and dangerous to take the egg out from under the mother hippogriff," he explained to them. "Anymore questions?" All of them shook their heads no.  
"Lily, James, will you two stay behind a few moments? The rest of you may go to lunch," just as he said that Sirius's stomach let out a loud growl, and he and Remus bolted out the door, Channing and Iris following closely. James and Lily shot exasperated glances at each other, and turned their attention back to Dumbledore who had a perceptible expression of amusement on his face. "You two are both exceptionally bright, but unfortunately you both have horrible tempers and you both know it." Here James and Lily snuck glances at each other to see the others expression after this statement. "It would be useless to tell you not to fight, because we all know that no-matter what I say, you will fight anyway. You are both determined, which is one of the reasons I made you Head-Boy and Girl, but you are both very stubborn and proud which is not something to be pleased about. Let me impart some of my wisdom to both of you. This will help you the rest of your lives: Always make sure you mean what you are saying. When you lose your temper it is extremely easy to say things that you don't really mean, and it can make you hurt each other. Hurt may be forgiven, but it will never be forgotten. Always remember that." Lily and James both nodded and headed out the door, with heads full of thoughts and grumbling stomachs.  
"Man it's 7:45," exclaimed James as he looked at his watch. "Not only did we miss lunch, but we are due at Hagrids in 15 minutes. What are we going to do?"  
"I don't know about you, but I am going to the kitchen and getting some food to carry with me, and I am going to eat during detention."  
"Shit, I forgot I told Merril that I would come discuss some extra credit potions project with him! I gotta go see what he wants. Will you please get me some sandwiches for me too Lily?"  
"Whatever," Lily shrugged her shoulders. James gave her an appreciative nod and bolted down the hall towards the Potion Dungeon, while Lily walked in the opposite direction toward the kitchen.  
  
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A/N: Thank all you so much for you reviews! I have never had this many on one story, I am extremely happy! **does happy dance** Your reviews really inspire me to write, so I want to thank every single one of you who reviews! If your wondering, there is going to be romance in this story soon, but I have a tendancy to rush into the romance too fast, so I am trying to make it at a realistic pace. I promise there will be romance. Be Patient young Jedi's! LOL- Sorry I went Star-wars on you a moment ago, please forgive me!  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned this stuff I wouldn't have to sit here and waste my time writing one of these stupid things, would I?  
  
Note to All: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I really want to know everyone's **honest** opinion of my story, please give constructive criticism and No Flames please **gives the puppy eyes** Thanx! Bye-bye  
  
Note to Katie: Hey, review it or you will be sorry! I have mastered Avada Kedravra, Mwhahahahahaha!!!!! LOL, please review!   
  
Bye :~)   
  
  
  



	9. Please Forgive Me Your Worshipness

The Damsels of Distress  
Chapter 9- Please Forgive Me Your Worshipness  
  
Lily stopped by the kitchen on her way to detention in order to pick up some sandwiches. The house-elves were delighted to see her again (she was a frequent visitor to the kitchen). They loaded her down with as many sandwiches as she couldn't carry, and bowed so many times she found it a wonder they could straiten their backs. She thanked them all and bolted down to Hagrid's cabin, wanting to talk to Hagrid before detention started. When she finally made it, she was panting for breath, and her cheeks were flushed. She knocked on the door and Hagrid waved her in.  
"Hi there, what yer gone gettin detention for there," Hagrid asked with an amused expression on her face. Lily, although she had a hot temper, usually didn't get detention because she was McGonagall's pet (actually she was all the teachers pets). Lily explained all about Peter (who she referred to as rat-boy) and told him all about the Marauders bursting in the middle of class.  
"So you see, it was really the boys' fault we got into trouble. James Potter had the nerve to blame all this on me, and on top of all that the ego-crazed four-eyes called me 'firehead.' Then he plays all nice and ask me to get him some sandwiches since he had to go see Professor Merril, boy those sandwiches are going to give him the shock of his life," and evil grin came to Lily's face, and Hagrid chuckled as a knock was heard at the door. Hagrid opened the door to find a rather red Remus, who couldn't manage to make a coherent sentence. Iris was standing there beside him, both oblivious to the fact that Iris's lipstick was not only smeared around her mouth, but also around the mouth of Remus too. Hagrid started laughing like a maniac at the site of them, and they tried to play innocent. Lily on the other hand wasn't amused.  
"Iris Marie Cooper," Lily started and Iris flinched. It was never good news when Lily used your middle name. "How dare you fraternize with the enemy! The charge is treason, how do you plead?" Lily voice was very formal, and she showed not a trace of a grin as she said this, s was dead serious.  
"Guilty," replied Iris with not a trace of guilt in her voice, in fact she had a smile on her face and held Remus's hand the whole time.  
"Very well, you are sentenced to 5 months of cleaning duty," as Lily said this Iris groaned. Cleaning the girls dorm was very hard work and Lily and Channing were extremely messy.  
"All right fine," groaned Iris as she kissed Remus on the cheek and walked over to Lily. Remus once again blushed, but he had a grin on his face like a kid on Christmas morning. Iris giggled and gave Remus a small smile. This proved to be too much for Lily who made a retching noise, and muttered something that sounded like, 'get a room.' Luckily for Lily, Sirius and Channing showed up together, not kissing (thankfully for Lily), but instead they were shoving each other teasingly.  
"See," said Lily pointing at Sirius and Channing, "you don't see Channing snogging with the enemy." Channing, who had her hand halfway up to Sirius's head, looked up mid-slap at Lily and Iris.  
"That's only because her and Sirius always go into an empty class room. I heard some noise in the Transfiguration classroom, and walked in on them snogging about 15 minutes ago," declared Iris, feeling proud of herself for shocking Lily.  
"Iris you promised you wouldn't tell," moaned Channing, who knew she was about to feel Lily's wrath.  
"Channing Ashley Jolley," said Lily with a cold voice, and steely eyes that showed no mercy. "You have been charged with treason and and I am adding to your charge for the fact that you were purposely trying to deceive me. How do you plead?"  
"Guilty, your Honor," and with this Channing burst into mock sobs, and got down on her knees, tugging at the hem of Lily's robes. "Please forgive me your worshipness," cried Channing, who was struggling to hold back her laughter. The met Lily's eyes and seeing the death glare she was getting she immediately stopped, not a trace of a grin on her face anymore.  
"So, you wish to add to your charges by making a mockery of the trial system that all three of us agreed on, do you," asked Lily. " Very well, you are sentenced to Kitchen duty for the rest of the year, you will do Iris and my divination homework for the rest of the year, and if you make a mockery of our trials one more time, you will be ostracized from the D.O.D. for 2 months. Am I understood?"  
"Yes," was Channing's meek reply, she knew she had gone to far that time. Hagrid stood to the side the whole time, very interested in the Damsel's court system.   
Just then James burst through the door, not bothering to knock. "Sorry I'm late Hagrid, I have a note from Prof. Merril, the old coot wanted me to help some Slytherin with a potion. Can you believe that?" Glancing at the clock, Hagrid noticed that it was already 8:15 and detention should have started 15 minutes ago.   
"All right, we will break into groups of two to hunt the eggs," stated Hagrid. "Channing and Sirius will come with me, so I can keep them out of trouble," at this point Sirius and Channing both grinned evilly, as to say no one could keep them out of trouble. "Remus and Iris can go with Fang, and he will protect them. James and Lily you to go together since you have both snuck into the Forbidden Forest more times than I can count, and you must know it even better than me," Hagrid chuckled. "All right you know what to do, shoot up red sparks if there's trouble, and green if you find any eggs. Okay lets go."   
At this point all the groups split up and went separately into the forest. The first thing James did when they entered the forest was say, "Okay give me some of those sandwiches Lily, I am starving." Lily, hiding her grin, took a sandwich out of a purple bag and gave it to James. Lily took one out of a pink bag and started eating it. James, asked for more sandwiches, and she gave him the whole purple bag, and watched in amusement as he starting growing feathers out of his head without realizing it. Lily however remained feather free. Slowly they finished their dinner and went in hunt of the Hippogriff eggs.  
  
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A/N: Okay I am sooooo unbelievably sorry that this chapter took so long, I know sorry isn't an excuse but I had a lot going on, and on top of that I had major writers block!(Avada Kedavra you pesky writers block!) All right let me give you an explanation of why Fang is here in this fan fic, when actually he should be dead. Here's to explanations, pick your favorite. A) Fang is a magical creature and therefore has a long life span, unlike muggle dogs. OR you can choose B) Hagrid had another dog named Fang along time ago, and he really likes the name so he keeps using it on his dogs. The choice is yours. I promise this will be L/J romance soon, please forgive me for it taking a while to get to the actual romance. If it makes you feel better I threw in a itsy-bitty bit of I/R and S/C in this chapter (very little) Once again let me say how sorry I am for the delay, and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me!**gives puppy eyes** Please Review, it will really make my day, night, whatever!!!!!!!! Bye  
  
Disclaimer: I hate these things, I am thinking of making a list of reasons I hate disclaimers!!!!!! I do not own it, but your smart people (well most of you) you should be able to figure that out! I mean its posted in the Harry Potter section, and everybody knows I didn't write HP! How dense can someone be to think I own it! They would have to be as stupid as Wormtail(die miserable rat-boy die!)  
  
Shout out: Hey Katie, please review but I can't threaten you with Fido, since he's at your house....Wahhhh!!!!!(I miss you Fido!) Send Tiddles, Fido, and the little one's my love. However if you don't review I can send you a howler with a hex on it, so unless you want a nose on your @$$, I suggest you review! Bye  
  
One final note: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  



	10. Night-time Thoughts

Lily lay in bed hours after detention, still smiling about how James looked with feathers sticking out of his head. Then with a sudden horror she found herself not thinking of James's feathered head, for which she got screamed at with various obscenities when he found out he had been duped. She was just thinking about James in general. The way he laughed, the way he smiled that impish little boy smile he had, the way his eyes twinkled when Sirius gave his coat to Channing. He had laughed and called Sirius "hen-pecked."  
OH GOD!!!!! STOP THAT NOW, Lily thought sternly to herself. YOU WILL NOT BE THINKING ABOUT 'THE ENEMY' THAT WAY! Why not, a little voice at the back of her head nagged her. Why is James the enemy? He's charming, funny, smart, and... BIG-HEADED! STOP THINKING ABOUT LIKE THAT! JAMES IS BIG-HEADED, EGOTISTICAL, IMPOSSIBLE, IRRITATING, AND... AND?  
Lily groaned. She used to have whole list of reasons why she hated James. In fact, she memorized them, could say them in four different languages, and she could sign them to the deaf. Now she could only think of four reasons, and they didn't even seem to bother her that much anymore, come to think of it. James was big-headed, but maybe he just needed someone he cared about so much that he would think about them before himself, to cure him of that. Same thing with egotistical. He was impossible, but now that she thought about it, so was she. He wasn't always irritating, usually just to her, and usually only because she was being irritating back. She let herself think for just one moment, one little moment, how a relationship with James would be. It definitely wouldn't be dull or everyday. It would actually be kinda nice.  
WAIT A MINUTE! CAN WE STOP THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT? There is no way for all the gold in Gringott's that I am going to fall in love with Potter! I need to have my head examined! Happy Acres here I come! Okay, so maybe a relationship with James wouldn't be THAT bad. Since I am apparently going nuts, off my rocker, missing a few cards short of a deck, having a few bricks short of a load, and since I have a few bats in the belfry, then maybe being with James is not that bad. I can't think of anyone who it would be more fun to go crazy with than him. Okay so maybe, only MAYBE, I actually might like him a teeny, tiny ittle bitty bit. Nothing is going to happen anyway, because he would NEVER, in a million years like me back. NEVER!   
Saddened and tired by this thought she drifted off into an uneasy sleep, not knowing that a certain person in the boys dorm was thinking the same thoughts about her before he drifted off into an equally uneasy sleep.  
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REALLY REALLY LONG A/N(I wont be offended if you skip it!) Okay guys, I am so sorry bout the delay, but you know with school starting and ff.net being down I really got held up with this chapter! I am really SORRY! I did try to make it a good chapter, so please let me know if you like it or not, cause its in a different style than my usual writing. You can make me extremely happy by reviewing! So go ahead and review it to make my day special. I know you guys are waiting for some "real" romance, or the end but I have put so much work into this story that I don't think I can just pop out an ending without it being rushed or just ruining the good ending I have been working inch by inch toward. You wanna know what happens next? So do I! I actually have no clue what I am going to do since I don't plan before I write, I just write and shock myself as I go along.... Anyway I know that you are getting bored by me, so let me just say that I actually think this chapter was pretty good, of course you can take that cum grano salis(with a grain of salt) since I did write it.  
Shout out: Katie I finally got it up! Aren't you just so proud of me? You better review, cause I am still mad at you about the pointless clicking page and I am very close to sending Fido to roast you! lol  
Disclaimer: Can you believe I almost forgot to put this? OH THE HORROR!(Yeah right!) You know I don't own it, you know J.K. does. What's left to say?  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! I REALLY WANNA KNOW AND I WILL LISTEN TO ANY SUGGESTIONS YOU MAY GIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	11. Who is It?

The Damsels of Distress- Chapter 11  
"Who is it?"  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Nah duh, right? Oh yeah, I'm really J.K. Rowling, and after all my eminent success I have decided to have fun pretending to be a 15 year old obsessed HP freak, who's writing is mediocre at best. I request all those who believe that to go jump off a bridge, and do humanity a favor.  
  
A/N: I toiled away at this chapter, I had it half-way typed once and then my whole computer crashed and I lost everything.(Katie, you've heard me complain about my piece o' junk computer.) I am retyping it now. I worked really hard to make this satisfying whoever is reading it. I wrote more than I have ever wrote in my life. If one single person asks me to make my chapters longer, I will have a emotional breakdown, and go into hiding, never to write again.   
  
A/N: Sorry, I sounded really morbid in the previous A/N.  
  
Dedicated: To Alicia/Sue, who I am sure everyone in HP fandom will miss. I am adding this after finding out that Antisocial Butterfly has been deleted. I am so sad.  
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The next morning Lily woke up tired, nut resolute. She would just have to tell James how she felt about him, it was as simple as that. She was Lily Evans, and she prided herself on being brave, and doing the things others couldn't. It was a simple matter. Girls tell boys they like them everyday. Girls told James they like him a hundred times a day. No big deal. Suffice it to say, Lily was terrified. Lily was always used to being the calm one of the group. If she wanted something,she worked hard, she got it. End of story. This time it just didn't seem that simple anymore. How could she tell someone else how she felt, when **she **didn't even understand what she felt. She struggled to recall exactly when James went from an annoying Jerk with a few good ideas, to annoying Jerk with a few good ideas who she was in love with. Life used to be so simple, the ultimate goal was to beat James, Easy. While that goal was still definately important, it wasn't the main goal anymore. Now her ultimate goal was: Be with James. This goal was suffiently more difficult. Lily was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice when Iris called her name five times, nor did she notice when Channing waved her hand in front of her face. Only did she emerge from her thoughts when Channing smacked her over the head with a pillow.  
"Ow," was the unintelligent reply that action recieved.  
"So what's going on?" asked Iris in a concerned voice.  
"What makes you think something is wrong?" asked Lily absentmindedly, still staring blankly at the wall where her gaze was fixed on a small crack.  
"Well, us calling your name over and over with no reply kinda tipped us off, and there is the fact that you're staring at the wall."  
"Oh, Sorry. Guess I just got a little distracted."  
"You think?" was Channing's sarcastic reply. "Oh, I thought you were trying to use your x-ray vision to burn a hole in the wall."  
"Ha. Ha. What time is it?" asked Lily finally looking somewhere other than the said wall.  
"About 10:45," replied Iris, glancing at her watch.   
"Oh my God! We're late for classes," exclaimed Lily jumping off the bed and making a mad dash around the room, gathering clothes to wear.  
"Uh huh, you see we would be late for class, but shockingly enough it's a Saturday. Even more shockingly we don't have classes on Saturdays.  
"Oh," Lily said stopping mid-run and dropping her clothes on the floor.  
"She's acting like me when I think about Remus," exclaimed Iris. "She's in love."  
"NO I'M NOT," Lily said, a little too fast, and a little too loud to be convincing.  
"Your right Iris, I don't know how we missed it before. Our dear Lily has fell for one of those awful boys she claimed she didn't need."  
"Ah, but the question is who," Iris said in a mystic voice that rivaled the Divination Professor.  
"I am not in love with anyone," Lily replied hotly, wanting this discussion over right then.  
"You can deny it, but eventually we'll find out. You'll make a mistake and blush when your talking to him, or deny it too quickly when we suggest it. We will find out, and when we do we'll tell the whole school," proclaimed Channing, while Lily put her head in her hands and made the sound a person makes when they know their life is about to be ruined.  
Lily looked helplessly at Iris, "You wouldn't do that, would you? You're not corrupted yet are you?"  
"Oh yeah Lily, " commented Iris easily looking at her nails. "Paybacks a bitch, isn't it? You had better just hope she doesn't get Sirius involved in this! The two of them start working together, and you wil have *every* secret you have had revealed before it's over with."  
"Sirius... Sound like a plan, thanks Iris. I didn't think of recruiting him before. He would be perfect this cause," Channing got a evil grin on her face as she said this.  
"Iris," said Lily slowly in a low and throaty voice. "Your dead." Iris made a mad dash for the door after Lily said this. She was followed closely by Lily, who grabbed her wand off the dresser as she went by, unknowingly leaving Channing to snoop for clues as to who Lily was infatuated with.  
Lily chased Iris down the stairs, into the crowded common room. "Remus! Hide me! SHE'S GOING TO KILL MEEEE!" screamed Iris, diving behind the couch that James and Remus were sitting on.  
"What did you do?" asked James, noting to himself that neither of them had changed out of thier night-clothes. He also noted the fact that Lily wore a tank top and a **very** short pair of shorts to sleep in. Lily walked calmly behind the couch, and pointed her wand at Iris.   
"Maybe I won't kill you," she said slowly, emphasizing every syllable. "I might just hex you to the point of sickness." Fortunately for Iris, Channing chose this moment to come bounding down the steps.  
"How in the world am I supposed to read your diary and find out whoever it is your in LOVE with, if you don't have a diary?" complained Channing.  
"Lily's in love with someone? I don't believe it!" exclaimed Remus.  
" I bet I know who it is," sing-songed Sirius. Lily muttered a liplocking spell and he couldn't open his mouth. When he started trying to convey his guess with hand gestures,  
she did a full body bind.  
"Anyone else waht to join Sirius on the floor?" Lily asked. They all immediately shut thier mouths, sat down, and looked at the wall, not daring to make a peep. Satisfied, Lily went to her dorm to change, and then proceeded to go to the astronomy tower to think. Once the others were sure of her departure, they undid the binds on Sirius.  
"Wow, you must have really hit a nerve for her to go off that bad," observed James.  
"She knows, that I know, who she likes," explained Sirius with a smug grin on his face.  
"Fine then Mr. I-know-everything, who is it?" asked Channing.  
Sirius grinned, "It's James."  
  
  
Wow, I hope you like this chapter. It has to be as long as the others combined! Please read & review.  
  
StarChildHlermione86


	12. The Course of Love

"If you want to I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside So busy out there  
and all you wanted  
was somebody who cares" --Michelle Branch  
  
"What?" spluttered James, Iris, Remus, and Channing at the same time.  
"Sirius you cannnot possibly think..." It was then that Channing noticed the telltale redness of James's neck. "Oh my God! You're right! James likes Lily too!"  
"Er... Wh-what are you talking about? Nooo! I mean me and Lily is just ah-uh... Just absurd, " James concluded lamely, the rest of his face now matching his neck.  
"I don't believe it," breathed Iris, "How could we have missed it? With all the fighting and the teasing it should've been obvious."  
"What I don't believe is the fact that Sirius got it before the rest of us," Remus joked, although he looked just as shocked as the rest of them.  
All faces now turned to look at James, who was currently swaying from side to side, and shifting his feet, as if undecided on whether or not he should pass out or break into a run.  
"You have to tell her, you know," said Sirius very seriously.(AH! sorry, I swore I would never do the Sirius/Serious pun)  
"I can't," moaned James. " I mean it's against all laws of man and nature, and if I say anything Lily will probably just laugh at me or punch me."  
"Have you not been listening to everything that has been said? Lily feels the same way about you, I'm sure of it! Now go tell her how you feel and make with the smoochies!" Channing shoved James toward the portrait hole, "And remember when your planning the bridesmaid dresses that my favorite color is purple."  
James gulped and stumbled through the portrait hole and out of the common room. He considered the options he could A.) Go swimming in the lake and pray the giant squid was hungry, B.) Charge into the Slytherin common room calling them names at the top of his lungs or, C.) go find Lily and tell her how he felt. Option C seemed like the most dangerous of all the options, but he figured that if he didn't have anything else going for him, he did have his trademark Gryffindor courage, and he should probably have a go at it.  
James didn't have a clue where Lily was. He could've easily summoned the Marauders Map, but he wasn't completely sure he *wanted* to find her. It was much easier to say he was looking for her, and hope that he didn't actually find her. It happened that the fates where either very pleased at him or very angry with him (depending on how one looks at it) and he found Lily in the first place he looked. It was also the one place he didn't really think she would be, the astronomy tower.(Lily wasn't fond of heights)  
He really didn't know why he was surprised she was there, though... Lily was always a very contradictory person. "Hi," James didn't have anything else better to say, so he did the greeting thing.  
"Uh, Hi. Go away?" Lily tried to come out sounding stern, but she was too tired and too confused to keep the phrase from coming out as a question.  
"I need to talk to you," he decided he better go ahead and get it over with. At least if she started laughing at him he could through himself off the tower before he was *completely* humiliated.  
"No," Lily stated flatly. "I don't want to talk and I don't want to listen either."  
She didn't want to talk? Well, he really didn't know what to say anyway... He always heard that actions spoke louder than words.  
He kissed her. Lily stood rigid for a moment, and he fully expected her to pull back and slap him. She didn't. She kissed him back. From the balcony two figures watched underneath the safety of an invisibility cloak.  
"Wow! I'm glad that's over, I was beginning to think they were going to fight again."  
"Oh they will... They'll just have more fun with it now because of the making up part."  
"How did you find out who Lily liked anyway ?" questioned Channing.  
"Peter told me. He said he knew it all along and was working to get them together."  
"Really? We were so mean to him! Now I just feel awful! I know he may have messed up, but his heart was in the right place .(Author insertion: DIE ratboy, DIE!) We really should let him back in. The Damsels and The Marauders can peacefully work together, and the pranks can be aimed at the where they should be, at the Slytherins, instead of at each other.  
"Yeah!" He slung an arm around Channing's shoulder, "This is the start of a beautiful relationship."  
  
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Disclaimer: If I owned them I would be very rich, and since I am not rich I have to infer that I do not own them. All belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.  
  
AN: Hey. OMG? Did I finally get a chapter out? You all hate me, for taking so long, I'm sure... There will be one more chapter. So look forward to it. Will I write another fanfiction? Yeah. But I'll probably only post short one time stuff while working a chapter story. I'm going to have a few chapters written on it before I start posting it anywhere. I need to work in the writing area, I know I'm severely lacking in description of any kind... I am working on it. And yes I will follow everyone's heartfelt advice and grab myself a beta **looks around for my old pal DRI who is probably too busy Beta'ing for Irina** I will find one somewhere.   
  
AN2: Yes, I really had to make them forgive Peter. Where would the cannon go otherwise? I'm not looking to write a AU fic, so I had to re-introduce Peter back into the gang somehow.... I wish I could throw him off a cliff, but *shrugs* You can't get everything you want.  
  
AN3: Uh, and anything that looks like it might be stolen from Buffy is not intentional... I'm obsessed with the show a few things might have leaked over. **mutters about throwing Joss Whedon off a cliff, with wormtail, for killing Tara** Sorry, didn't mean to go all Buffy rant on you.  
  
AN4: If anything in this sounds like it came from another fanfic it was not on purpose. So please don't flame me for plagiarism of someone else's work.  
  
Shout out to Katie, the bestest Online Buddy O' Mine who you should all thank for nagging me into finally getting the already written chapter typed. Read her stuff under Le Chat de la Lune, it rocks!  
  
Bye all~* 


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